Hey everyone. Sorry about the lack of updates lately. I’ve got a few cute pictures for you, a lot of stories and some info on books that I’ve been reading.
Here goes with the cuteness:
Gryff hanging out with a stuffed dog he received from my Uncle Monte and Aunt June. He kept grabbing it and biting on its ears and hands, but all the pictures of that came out blurry. I blame his ferocity.
Here we are, all dressed up to go to a wedding. Gryff and I wore matching outfits.
I love this picture. My family is so beautiful!
Another cute one. I love all of his tiny expressions. And his perpetually-open mouth.
TALK SHIT GET BIT
I couldn’t help myself.
He was so good! Totally quiet and peaceful through the whole ceremony. He just sat on my lap and took it all in.
Sleepin’ boy. This is the Snuggle Me cushion. We’re still loving it for naps and the like.
Tummy Time! Mostly he just rolls over now, but sometimes he’ll hang out on his tummy for a while. And when he does, I think his little body is such a cute shape.
He’s playing on his floor gym, which makes him super happy. He loves all his little forest friends.
Sitting on the couch, having a fuzzy head. It’s something he does sometimes.
So anyway, let’s get down to brass tacks. This past weekend, we had two weddings. The first was for our friends Cinnamon and Laura and Gryff was a total angel through the whole ceremony and only started to get upset at the reception. It was late, he was tired and it was pretty noisy for such a tiny boy. We didn’t stay long, but it was still a pretty late night for him. The people at the hotel were great, though. They let us use a conference room to nurse in, so we didn’t have to do it in the big noisy room or just in some random area of the hotel.
The next day was my little sister’s wedding at my parents’ house. I had to get up and over there early to help set up, and then went back home to get dressed, and then went back for the actual ceremony (which I performed). It was a beautiful wedding and Gryff was great for it as well. The audience didn’t have any shade, so it was kinda warm and I heard him make a tiny baby sound once during the ceremony, but that was it. Her reception was a long ways away and we stayed much longer. He was still worn out from all the excitement of the previous day, and he got pretty mad towards the end of the night. The reception manager was awesome again and let us use an upstairs room for nursing and changing. We stayed probably longer than we should have because we had a lot of family there, and Gryff was uncharacteristically fussy by the end of it. We kept trying to let my aunt hold him but every time we passed him off he got super mad. My mom managed to take him and walk him upstairs away from the busy people and all the sound and he definitely calmed down.
The next day he was pretty fussy again. Just a little listless and not very happy, which is very much unlike him. Even on Tuesday he still wasn’t himself, and we thought he might be sick. We got him plenty of sleep though, and he bounced right back. Little dude was just worn out from all the excitement, and needed some time to recover. We’ve got another busy weekend, but nothing going into the evening away from home, so that should help a lot.
What else? I finished reading Confident Parents Remarkable Kids by Bonnie Harris (only $5 on Amazon right now, and I think I might need to own it) and really enjoyed it a great deal. It’s very much in line with the other things I’ve been reading on attachment parenting, but it goes into a depth you can’t really manage in a blog post or online article, obviously.
Here are a few of the things that were really valuable to me, not just from a parenting perspective, but also for all of my relationships: I am not responsible for anyone else’s happiness, nor are they responsible for mine. If I want my kid’s room to be clean, and he doesn’t care, then making him clean it is asking him to take responsibility for my happiness. That’s not going to go well, generally speaking. Same goes for the kid. If he’s fighting with his friend, that’s his problem, not mine. I don’t need to solve it for him or tell him what he should do. I should listen to him if he wants to talk, and help him figure out what he thinks he ought to do about it.
I like this approach, because instead of solving problems for your kids, you’re helping them figure out how to solve their own problems. That’s a good skill that they really should learn, and I think my job as a parent isn’t to make their lives as painless as possible, it’s to give them the tools and to help them develop the confidence to face the issues that they’re going to have to deal with the rest of their lives. So there you go. That’s one big thing I liked from the book.
I also really liked the idea of setting your expectations based on my child’s developmental capabilities as well as their temperament. If I have an energetic child, in a developmental stage where they have little impulse control, expecting them to sit quietly through dinner is just going to frustrate you. They can’t do it. They’re not being jerks, they just don’t have the psychological capability to do it yet, no matter how much I want them to. So punishing them for being themselves isn’t going to work. I need to accept them for who they are, and not expect anything of them that they can’t manage. This doesn’t mean I condone unacceptable behavior, but it does mean that I let them know that their emotions are important, and valid. Emotions aren’t bad, there are only bad ways of expressing them. Hitting a person isn’t the right way to let them know you’re angry. You can punch a pillow until you’re no longer so mad and then go talk to them about it.
It’s really a different perspective and I can’t help but think I might not be capturing it fully just yet. I’m going to go grab some more books on the topic from my library and keep reading. I’m intrigued and fascinated and I think that being a parent is probably one of the most important things I’ll ever do. Probably worth doing a little research on it, yeah?